Metanoia -Part One
by xXxfiredancerxXx
Summary: Will Rumplestiltskin get his happy ending? Part one of two. Please leave comments on what you think and what you think you will find in part two! Part two is all the way up now!
1. Chapter 1

**[A/N: DISCLAIMER: I do not own Once Upon A Time or any character besides Keeva and her family. Also, for the purposes of this story, Belle is not written in. I love her but her presence would cause a great disturbance. I hope you enjoy, please favorite, follow, and review!]**

" _She is cursed!" The village elders circled around the new mother and child. "Thermia, you may stay, but your child must go."_

" _She's a baby!" The woman wept, clutching the bundle to her chest. "She's just a baby." In her arms, the child stared up at the patches of stars visible through the windows of the small cottage. "She can't do any harm."_

" _Not yet," Thermia looked down at her child, pink eyes stared up at her. The babe refused to cry, she only smiled up at her mother. "But she will. We will give you until morning, but then she must be gone." Fear clutched at Thermia, tears spilled down her cheeks as the elders filed out of her home._

" _My, my, what a predicament." A strange accent filled the cottage. Thermia stared up through her tears to see a peculiar man sitting on the kitchen table. His skin glittered in the firelight as he approached her._

" _Who are you? Are you going to kill her?"_

" _Kill her!" he laughed "No, dearie, I'm not here for that."_

" _What do you want?"_

" _It's not what I want." Themia cringed as he ran his hand through the baby's shock of white hair. "It's what you do."_

" _And what's that?"_

" _Mm, protection. For your little girl. I can give you this," he pulled a pendant out his breast pocket, "It will disguise her until she is of age."_

" _I haven't any money." Thermia blanched._

" _I don't want money."_

" _What, then, do you want?"_

" _Her. I give you twenty one years of loving motherhood, and then you give her to me." His fingers curled with his grin. "Or I suppose, you could walk her to the river and toss her in."_

 _Thermia held her baby close. The little girl cooed lightly. "There must be something else you want."_

" _I'm afraid not, dearie."_

 _"Swear to me. You will protect her."_

 _He held a quill to the mother, who took it with a trembling hand and signed the contract he held. "I'll see you in twenty one years." He laughed, placing the necklace over the babe's head._

 _Thermia felt her stomach flop. The babe's hair turned from white to red, like hers, and her pink eyes flashed before turning brown. "Wait!" She called as the man took to leave. He glanced at her with a cheeky smile. "What is your name?"_

 _His laughter set her teeth on edge, "Rumplestiltskin."_

She stood in flurry of snow, her nose and ears ached with the cold. Wind whipped her hair as she chiseled at the ice that formed over lake. It was the worst winter in her memory. Blood dripped down her knuckles as ice cut at her skin. A breath of relief left her as the ice gave away and water came to the surface.

"Mama!" she called, stepping into their cottage, "I've managed to catch dinner. I didn't know we were expecting company." A man sat across from her mother at the table.

"Why don't you sit down, Keeva? It's almost your birthday." Her mother didn't smile, she only gestured to the chair in between the man and herself.

"Alright, then." Keeva approached very carefully, there was something about the man that made her feel in danger. She sat the string of fish on the table before sitting down.

"I've done something foul," her mother's gaze was far away, "and I'm afraid you will never forgive me."

"What is it?" She stared at the man's glittering skin and green eyes. "Who is this?"

He made a sound of what Keeva could only assume was excitement. "His name is Rumplestiltskin."

"Oh, mother, what have you done?" Her vision was spinning.

"When you were born, you looked...different. And it frightened the village elders, they thought you were cursed, Keeva. They were going to force me to give you up."

"Mother," she breathed out.

"And he gave you that necklace. To protect you, so we could be together."

Tears formed hot on her eyes, "So why is he here?"

"There was a price." Her mother grew pale, "You."

"I will not go." Keeva stood, raising an eyebrow.

"You won't have a choice, dearie. At the stroke of midnight, that bobble won't protect you any longer. Then the whole village is going to know who you really are. And your mommy," he laughed, "well, they'll hang her in front of everyone."

"I'll run, then."

"You can't hide from me, dearie." Keeva watched in horror as the clock hand moved painstakingly slow to the twelve. "Look at that!" Mirth filled his words. Something like hot water trickled down her. "Look at you!" He pointed and cheered. "We best be going, then."

"Mama!" Keeva grabbed her mother's arm as the man grabbed her. "I love you."

"You best be keeping that hood up."

Keeva looked down at her waist, where snow white locks had replaced red ones. "This is too much." She wanted to sit down, to let everything sink in, but Rumplestiltskin had a firm grip on her upper arm and was leading her through the piles of snow.

"Are ye cold, dear?" He asked, stopping in the woods. Chills had burst over her skin, and every step sent a bolt of pain though her shoes. She didn't respond, but he waved his hands through the air, suddenly branding a cloak. It was deep red lined with some sort of thick, gray fur. "That should do it." He pulled the cloak over her own thin, patched one. Warmth began to spread along her back.

"What do you want me for?" Drained, Keeva stared up at him.

"I need a maid." He spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Come on, just a wee bit farther." Keeva stumbled after him. Apparently, a "wee bit" was the equivalent of two hours. "Here we are." He stopped suddenly, Keeva stumbled into his back and fell into the snow.

"I don't see a castle." She muttered, brushing the cold powder off her sore face.

Her body was suddenly wrapped by his. She could smell traces of incense from his chest as he held her closer. "You might want to hold on." Closing her eyes, Keeva gripped his shoulders as they began to spin at an impossible speed.

They landed hard. Fighting for footing on the snowy terrain, Keeva crashed into the river. Shock forced her mouth open, her hands weren't moving right but she managed to grab a sharp rock on the bank. Crimson bubbled into the icy water as she pulled herself closer to the bank. Something like relief filled her as a strong hand grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the water. Gasping and choking, Keeva managed to get her breath back. "You've got to be more careful, dearie." With a wave of his hand, the water flicked off her body and her hair was dried. "You're not afraid of magic, are you?"

She shook her head and followed him to the large castle nearby. "Home sweet home!" He waved his hand and took a pose as she looked around the dusty, cobwebbed room.

"Why don't you use magic to clean?"

"Oh, I don't have time for that, dearie. This," he unhatched a big, wooden door. "Is your room." The room was barren, despite a small mattress in the corner and a candlestick on the floor.

"It locks from the outside." She blinked.

"Indeed." The strange man pivoted on his heel.

"Hang on." She removed the fur cloak and placed it in his arms. "I believe this is yours."

"You might need it." He handed it back to her. "It gets drafty at night."

Keeva stared at the strange man. Her new room was freezing, but she ached to lay down. He continued to watch her as she slowly sat down on the mattress. When he made no indication to move, she wrapped herself tight in the cloak and curled up in a ball, facing the wall. Her new, white, hair was everywhere. Feeling his presence still there, she willed herself not to break down. At some point, she succumbed to the pull of sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Heart hammering, the girl bolted upright in bed. A figure was standing by. "It's real." She whispered as green eyes gleamed down at her.

"Hoping this was just a bad dream, dearie?" Laughter rang in her ears.

Face flushing, Keeva hurriedly wiped the tears from her cheeks. Slowly, she stood, pushing her tangled hair from her face and watching the man carefully as he approached her. His hand was almost large enough to wrap around her upper arm. "Not a speck of dust." A shiver racked the length of her spine.

In the light she was able to fully see the main room. A large spinning wheel sat on a lush, if dusty, rug. Dozens upon dozens of objects lined the shelves and adorned the tables in no particular order. He took a seat at the wheel and began to hum and spin. This room was considerably warmer than her own, and Keeva took a moment to let the warmth sink deep into her brittle bones.

When the sun was beginning to sink, Keeva took a break, looking around the room. Before, the dust had been hiding the gleam of the polished woods and the sun's reflections. Now everything shone brightly. She sighed quietly as Rumple stopped spinning and glanced around the room. "It will suffice. Off to bed with you."

Keeva bit her lip and slowly walked back to the small, cold room. The door slammed, locking from the outside as Rumplestiltskin hummed "Happy Birthday" and spun on his wheel.

A month passed before Keeva could lay down at night without crying, it was another month before she was able to look him in the eye longer than two seconds. She was currently dusting the high window seals. "Come with me, dearie."

Keeva stared at him, he blinked impatiently as she slowly made her way down the spindly ladder. "Is everything okay?"

"It will be," he grabbed the sleeve of her dress, leading her to his work station. "I need your blood."

Horror froze her pale face."What?"

"The red stuff. Oh, don't worry," the hatpin glimmered in his hand, "just a drop."

"Why?" She pulled her hand away, curling it into her chest.

"It doesn't concern you."

"Then use your own blood!"

He smirked, "Would if I could, dearie."

She tilted her head in curiosity, looking up at him in genuine earnest. "Why not?"

"The recipe needs virgin blood."

"How do you know I am?" She crossed her arms over her chest. Big, soft eyes sought answers. Like a lost fawn. He was momentarily transfixed by them.

"With eyes innocent as yours, how could you not be?"


	3. Chapter 3

Keeva took a seat on his stool, taking a closer look at the jars and powders. "I'm afraid I'll never understand magic."

"You have no need to, that's my job." Rumple stood behind her, she lifted her arm slowly for him to take her hand. "Atta girl." He jammed the needle into the tip of her finger, a fat, crimson bead rising as he pulled the needle away with a flourish. He milked the blood over the steaming potion. Keeva leaned forward to watch the effects her blood had.

The smoke rolled to a stop, muddy liquid sparkled for a moment before it turned purple and clear. "Did it work?"

"Yes," he said, distracted by the results.

"As you had hoped?"

"Leave." He snapped his head to her.

Those eyes widened, "Is everything alright, Mr. Rumplestiltskin?"

"LEAVE ME!" The shattering of glass clashed with the words torn from his chest.

White eyebrows lifted, "Feel better?"

Rumple sat down, squinting at her as his heart slammed as his anger dissipated.

"What is this?" Keeva looked up from the smooth, golden orb she was polishing. Rumplestiltskin was holding a rose upside down between the tips of his fingers, as if it was too disgusting for him to fully touch.

"I believe they're called roses." His eyes narrowed with her sarcasm.

"Why was it in my room?"

"I thought it might brighten things."

He threw it to the floor, crushing the petals underneath his heel. "Do you not understand who I am, girl?" His form disappeared and reappeared inches away.

"Enlighten me."

"I'm a villain, dearie, and you don't become the embodiment of darkness by smelling the roses."

"'A villain,' 'The embodiment of darkness.' I don't believe that."

"Just wait, because you will." She could almost see his patience fading by the second.

Bending down, she picked up the bruised flower. "The world isn't broken up into heroes and villains. Everyone has a bit of dark and light in them, even you, Rumplestiltskin." He gave her a slow, unbelievable look as she held the rose back to him.

"You'll learn, dearie." His voice was uncharacteristically soft as took the rose and stalked out of the room.


	4. Chapter 4

Rumplestiltskin stood looking out the window. It was the first day of Winter, nearly a year had passed since Keeva first stepped into his castle, frightened and quiet. She had proved to possess more of a voice than he had originally anticipated. "I was curious," she said, climbing the ladder to reach the high ceiling, "when is your birthday?"

"How does that concern you?"

"Birthday's are important."

"Not when you're immortal."

"Fine,"

He sighed, "You're not done pestering me about this are you?"

A satisfied, little smirk crossed her face. Realization wrote itself across her face, he saw it settle in her eyes a millisecond before a crack filled the room. Her foot snapped through the rung, her mouth parted as white hair fanned, hands grasped at the curtains, ripping them from the wall. He took a long stride as weight crashed into his arms. He quirked an eyebrow at the blushing woman in his arms. Eyes large with terror, she stared up at him. "In one year: Five sprained ankles, seven bloody noses, a split lip, broken finger, and one fall from a ladder. If you're trying to kill yourself you could just ask for help.

"Thank you for catching me." He felt some irritation in his chest as pouty lips parted into a smile.

"I don't want you getting blood all over my castle,dearie." He adjusted his arms to better hold her. "Have you always been this clumsy?"

"I, well, I suppose not."

"Think hard, Keeva, when did it start?"

She scrunched her face, "I guess about a month before I turned twenty-one I started getting hurt all the time."

"You mean a month before you came here."

He lowered her feet to the ground. "Thank you, Sir, again."

Rumple waved her off, taking a seat on his stool and began to spin. He hummed as magic vibrated in his chest.

Night had settled when he stopped, having figured out the answer to his question. He looked into Keeva's room, pressing his lips together at the sight of her empty mattress. "Where are you, dearie?"

"Dining Hall!" Came the reply. Placing his hands behind his back, Rumple entered the hall.

"What," he looked around the room, "is all of this?" A variety of dishes sat along the candlelit table, in the middle of the table a cake sat.

"You won't tell me when your birthday is, so, I picked a date." When he didn't make a move, Keeva grabbed his hands, looking up at him with earnesty. "Be mad at me tomorrow."

He tilted his head at her, mimicking the smiling woman. "If you insist." She grinned, the first, real, genuine grin he had seen from her. It made her eyes sparkle and dusted her cheeks with the lightest tint of pink. "Don't just stand there." Rumple said as she stood with her hands clasped together.

"This is for you."

"Eating alone on my birthday, sounds so nice, doesn't it?" He snapped his finger, turning her old, blue dress into a dark green ball gown. "Please,"

They ate together in a comfortable silence. "Now that I've enjoyed my birthday, why don't you go to bed? Those dark circles deter your fine appearance."

"Your birthday isn't over until you've received your gift."

"And what sort of gift can you give me? You've got nothing, dearie." He smirked, "I actually can think of one thing you could give me." Rumple wagged his eyebrows at her, causing Keeva to choke on her water.

"Here." She handed him a tiny box, smiling as she did so. "It's not much, but you do deserve a present."

"How do you figure that?"

Still smiling, she said, "You know, most people say 'thank you' and then pretend to really appreciate the gesture."

"Oh a present!" He opened his palms wide, "I'm really excited!"

"I hate you." She deadpanned, placing the box in his palm. "Don't just look at it; open it!"

Rumple pulled the ribbon, watching her from the corner of his mind. She was certainly more excited than he supposed she ought to be. "A pocket watch?" He questioned. It was marvelously crafted. A golden ship was engraved on the outside, he opened it, slightly surprised that it was working correctly. He shut it and turned it over where L.O. was engraved. "Keeva, I cannot accept this."

"Yes, you can." She breathed, pushing his hand away as he tried to hand the watch back. "I want you to have it."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because one day, you'll see the good in yourself. Then you will understand."

He didn't understand. Warmth encircled him. Swallowing hard, Rumple tried to ignore the woman hugging him. But he couldn't, not after the gift she gave him. His arms wrapped themselves around her, bringing her body close to his own. "You're a good woman, Keeva."

"And I know there is a good man in you. Happy birthday, Rumplestiltskin."


	5. Chapter 5

Over the course of the following month, Keeva grew to feel quite comfortable around Rumple. She liked his quirks and strange accent. "Keeva?" She looked up from the floor she was scrubbing.

"Yes?"

"I need you to do me a grand favor."

"What do I get out of it?" She smiled as he did the same.

He continued to spin, but was looking at her, "Name your price."

"A day off work."

"Fair enough, darling. I need you to go into town. Go to the butcher and bring me back the smallest bones he has. Tell him I sent you. And here," he dropped a velvet sack in her hand, "while you're at it. Ask him where a woman named Mina lives, go to her house and pick up something for me." He winked at her.

Keeva pulled her old cloak over her and began her trek through the snow storm. She grimaced at the frosty air, biting at face. The town had been shoveled, a few people were briskly walking about. "Hello," she stood in the shabby shop. A large, barrel of a man came to the wooden counter. "Rumplestiltskin sent me." Immediately, his face turned white. "He needs some tiny bones."

"Yes,yes, of course." The man scrambled to the back of the shop. "Here you go." He thrust a bag into her hands.

"I'm supposed to ask where a woman named Mina might live." Her voice felt small as she spoke.

"Oh yes, yes, three houses down on the left."

"Thank you." The man didn't smile back, he just looked frightened. Once at Mina's, she knocked softly on the door. A plump, little woman answered the door.

"In need of clothes are you, pumpkin? You've come to the right woman." She held the door wide for Keeva. "What's your name?"

"Keeva." She shook the woman's hand.

"Did Rumplestiltskin send you?"

"Er, yes." The woman smiled.

"I was expecting you. I didn't expect you to be so pretty, I must admit."

"Oh," the sound escaped her in a lack of anything else to say.

The little woman smiled, "Come here, missy." She took her hand and guided her into a small room full of fabrics and mannequins. "Rumple asked me to make this for you. Fond of you, I suppose." She laughed wildly, placing an enormous box into her hands. It wasn't too heavy, but the box was oddly shaped.

"How much does he owe you?"

"Tell Rumple to keep his gold. All I want is for him to see you in this, by his side. At least once before spring." She smiled sweetly. "And here." She jumped up onto a chair and wrapped a black scarf around Keeva's neck and nose. "Keep you warm."

The snow seemed to have gotten deeper. It was difficult to traverse through the thick snow. She fell more times than she could count. The frost bit at her ears, and her lungs ached fiercely. She sniffed and continued on until she stood at the door of his castle. "You returned?"

"Why wouldn't I?" She sat the packages down on an end table.

"I expected to never see you again." He stood from the wheel, walking very slow towards her.

Keeva inclined her head, "You don't need those bones, do you?"

"Why did you come back? You're my prisoner."

"I thought I was your maid." She smiled as he sat down on the tabletop in front of her. "And I've grown to like it here."

His eyes burned into her, "And what do you like the most about this castle, poppet?"

Lifting an eyebrow, Keeva felt a nervous smile spread, "You."

"I like that answer." He winked, "I'm sure Mina spilled the beans," Rumple cackled, "you wouldn't get the joke. Shall we see how it looks on you, then?"

"Right, er, Mina said she wanted to see us before spring. That's the only payment she wants."

"Let's see if it's worth the payment first, yes?" He grabbed her, spinning as a dark smoke enveloped them. When her eyes opened, she was in Rumple's room. "Well open it." He articulated his fingers.

She sat down, untying the twine as she did so. The brown wrapping gave way to a mass amount of pink lace. "Let me see." He unfolded the lace, layers upon layers fell to the floor. It was perhaps the most beautiful dress Keeva had ever seen.

She breathed, "Why?"

"If you went to Mina's that meant you were coming back." He smiled softly at her, laying the dress down on the bed.

"Rumple," The whisper brought him closer, Keeva reached out, taking hold of the lapels of his jacket, pulling him closer still. "I could kiss you right now." The words slipped softly from her mouth before she could stop them.

"Please do." He whispered. She searched for something in his face and she was surprised to find that a warm smile rested there. Her hands shook violently, they were steadied by his. Before her nerve was completely shattered, Keeva pressed her lips against his. "Wait." He breathed out, concern flickering through his eyes, "Was that your first kiss?"

"I-it was." Her throat was dry.

"Let's pretend it wasn't." Embarrassment and rejection burnt through her stomach. White obscured her world as she was suddenly spun. Rumple kneeled, bringing her knuckles to his lips. Dark eyes bore into her as he slowly rose, stepping in to regain their proximity. Shivers ran down her spine as she leaned into him, her legs threatening to give. Strong arms swept her up as his mouth moved roughly over hers. It left her breathless. He smiled sweetly, "As far as I'm concerned, that was you first kiss, dearie."


	6. Chapter 6

"You have a question, yes? It's written all over your face, dear."

Keeva stifled her surprise, "I-I was just curious, what are you spinning for? I know you're not short on clothing or riches." Bright eyes lit up, a smile creeping across his grim face.

"Come here, yes, come on." He beckoned her forward, "Watch!" She had never watched him spin, feeling that it was his private activity. She blinked, the straw began to glimmer on the wheel, and when he stopped and presented the string to her, she realized, he had spun gold.

"Oh, my," she breathed, "that is amazing, Rumplestiltskin."

"I know." He squinched his face up, something of a smile there. "If you could fetch me some more straw, I'll make dinner.

"You can cook?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes."

Keeva nodded, staring out the window at the fierce snow that plummeted to the earth. She was cold just looking at it.

He kept the straw stored in a small shed outside of his castle, no doubt, Keeva figured, to keep him spinning through the winter. She gathered as much straw as she could fit in her apron and began her trek through the calf-deep snow back to the warmth of the interior. "I honestly figured you would run away." The straw fell from her apron, she closed her eyes and regained her breath. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

"It's quite alright." She kneeled and regathered the straw to make a neat pile by his spinning wheel. Her dress dripped with melting snow. Under his constant eye, Keeva hurried to wipe the water off the floor.

"You're not thinking about attending dinner dressed like that are ye, dearie?"

"I wasn't aware I was having dinner with you," she glanced down at her work dress and back at him.

"Then let's clean you up!" He struck a dramatic pose before taking a long step and grabbing her hand and leading her up a narrow flight of stairs. She found herself in a circular room with large, open windows. A standing mirror was the only furnishing. "Let me see your eyes, dearie." Calloused hands cupped her cheek tenderly as Rumple forced her to look into his eyes. An array of chills broke over her body when he titled his head at her and grinned. "I know just the outfit!"

Her breath was short as the man stood behind her, holding the lace pink dress up to her, letting her stare at her reflection in the mirror. She took a half step back, having forgotten he was behind her. Heat rose to her ears when her back pressed into his chest and her eyes found his in the mirror.

The pink dress fell from his hands, rustling to the floor in the pile. Hot breath spread over her neck, causing her own to hitch. Closing her eyes, she let him untie her apron. Fingers danced down her back, slowly unlashing the old dress. She leaned into him as he buried his face in the curve of her neck, pulling the fabric away from her, leaving her cold and mildly alarmed.

"What's this?" Her blood froze as his warm fingers traced a pattern on her side. "Goosebumps!" He cackled.

"It's chilly!"

Rumple whispered something so quietly she couldn't understand, his lips grazed over her throat as he turned her to face him. Gently, he pulled the pink dress over her, lacing up the back rather swiftly. "You need shoes." He looked confused and distracted. Keeva blinked away her blush as he reached again into the wardrobe and pulled a simple pair of pink flat shoes out. "I would give you heels, but I'm afraid you'd break your pretty, little neck." He said singsongingly, and kneeled in front of her.

"Yes, well, that is likely." she managed as he untied the laces of her old, worn out, hole spotted boots. "Why are you doing this?" The whisper left her lips as he rested his cheek on her pale calf.

"Because I want to." She furrowed her eyebrows at how cheeky he was. "I'm bored and you're much more fun to dress up than a dolly!"

"You're not as bad as everyone says, are you?"

"Oh I'm much worse, dearie." He stood, taller than her, and stared down at her.

Keeva watched the little spark in his eye, "No, I don't believe that."

"You will." He smiled, taking her hand and guiding her back down the stairs. Strong arms grabbed her as her heart froze, "Watch your step, dearie."

He led her down a hallway and into the lovely dining room. With a wave of his hand, a large meal had appeared.

"I haven't seen this much food in one place in my entire life."

He cackled, "Then eat up."

Music played behind her, Rumple hummed along with it.

"You seemed comfortable upstairs." Choking on her water, Keeva coughed, feeling her ears and cheeks turning pink. "Don't be embarrassed, dearie."

"This meal is lovely."

"Ravishing." She choked again, causing Rumple a great deal of laughter. He hummed quietly as they ate, grinning at her every time she glanced up at him. "Care to dance?" He asked as they finished their meals.

She glanced back at him, "I've never danced before."

"Fear not! I will lead you."

The Music box in the corner of the room changed tune as he cleared the table from the room, leaving them in the open. He took her hand, bowing deep and placing a kiss on her knuckles before placing it on his shoulder. He took her other hand in his own and wrapped an arm around her waist, gently pulling her close to him.

His lead was easy to follow, every step he guided her with her, gliding them smoothly over the floor in a series of sweeping turns and thrilling spins. "You have nothing to fear, darling." He whispered, gathering her in his arms and slowly spinning. "Tell me about yourself."

"What do you want to know?" She wrapped her arms around his neck, watching his eyes curiously, taking in the reflection of the light on his skin.

"Anything you'd be willing to tell me." He carried her to the window, where the moon was beginning to come out. Still holding her, he sat on the ledge and looked out at the swirling snow. Keeva followed his gaze to the stars.

"I'm not sure where to begin."

"Easy one! What's your favorite food?"

"Well, I suppose I'm fond of vegetable stew."

"Horrendous. What do you like to do?"

"Um," she bit her lip, still looking up at Rumple, "I like gardens." He looked down at he suddenly, a smile on stretched wide.

"This spring, you will be in for a pleasant surprise." Her heart ached violently. She desperately wanted to kiss him, but really, she had no idea of his intentions. "You are panicking." He pointed.

"Yes it would appear that way."

She had never seen that expression on his face before, he looked hurt. "Why?"

"I don't understand anything anymore."

"Why don't you go to bed, darling?"

"I d-don't think I can sleep." Hot tears welled at the bottom of her eyes, brimming before releasing.

"Are you crying?" He stood up quickly, taking her with him. "I'll make you a deal." He inclined his head. "Just for tonight. You can sleep in my bed, be warm and cozy. If," he paused, "you stop crying." Keeva swallowed hard, "Now I don't want my pillows wet, Missy. I'll take your stunned silence as a yes."

She rested numbly against his chest as he walked her through the rooms into a large, finely decorated one. Scarlet and gold covered the wall, a fireplace roared near a massive canopy bed. He sat her down on the foot of the bed. "Make yourself comfortable, you can wear whatever you find. I'll be working for a while longer."

Keeva watched the door for a long time after it closed. Quietly, she stood up and unbuttoned and unlaced the massive dress. She walked around the room, taking in the luxury of it all. She would have given anything to talk to her mother about her troubles. "None of that." She whispered, drying her eyes and opening Rumplestiltskin's closet. All sorts of leathers and furs in a variety of colors hung there. However, folded on the bottom of the closet was a long, linen shirt with wide sleeves. Curious, she thought, as it was clearly a women's nightshirt.

She pulled it over her small frame and crawled under the massive, thick duvet. The fireplace cast long shadows over the room. Incense smoke crawled through the room, strong enough that a picture of Rumple ran through her mind. Keeva closed her eyes, sinking deep into the pillows. She coughed lightly before succumbing to sleep.

She stood high on a cliff, sick with fear as the ground stretched farther and farther away. Her body shook at the great height, bile rose to her stomach. Falling. Air left her as she landed in a hole. Dirt began to rain. Her fingers scraped the sides of the grave in vain as a scream tore from her lungs. Her eyes snapped open, "Keeva," hands soothed her hair, as her rabbit heart tried to slam out of her chest. Her fingers knotted in the fabric of his shirt; her eyes squeezed shut. Rigidly, Keeva held his body to hers, desperate to feel reality, proof that she was anchored to the ground. "Nightmares?" Rumple whispered, resting his cheek on her head.

"Y-yeah." She managed. Arms wrapped around her, pulling her down with him. Warmth spread through her body as she curled into him.

"Don't you fret, I'll keep them away." He sounded cocky as ever, but Keeva couldn't help but feel assured. He continued to pet her hair, humming the same tune he always hummed until she finally fell back asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

"Wake up-hey-wake up!" She blinked her eyes slowly to find herself tangled in bed with face burned bright as he caught her eyes and cackled. "I finished your real gift last night."

A stunning, gold tiara sat in her hair, pink gemstones gleaming. "Rumple, why?"

"Why what?" He rested his hands on her shoulders.

"Why do you keep adorning me with gifts?" She whispered, placing a hand over one of his.

His eyes widened in the mirror. "I want you to see yourself as beautiful as I do, Keeva."

"I can never repay you."

"Just stay with me." He whispered, his lips grazing her neck, setting her skin on fire. "Now come on."

"You never cease to surprise me."

"Mmm!" he made a sound of excitement and took her arm in his own. "Close your eyes!"

Her breath fell away when she opened them. Floor to ceiling glass windows lined the exterior walls, letting in sheets of sunlight. Hundreds of flowers lined the other wooden walls and covered the floor except for a wide, clear circle, exposing highly polished cedar flooring. "It's beautiful," she breathed. She had only had the resources to garden wildflowers and daisies. Here; roses, tulips, lilies, poppies, flowers she had never seen in a vast array of rainbows.

"I was thinking, perhaps, your bed there," he pointed to the corner of the room, "so you'll see the sunrise every morning. A dresser here. Chandelier? Oof-" Tears welling, Keeva tackled the man, knocking him to the floor as she wrapped her arms tightly around him. "Quit your infernal crying, dearie."

"You don't have to win my affection, Rumple." She wept as he returned the embrace.

"I want to." He propped himself up on his elbow.

"No, you don't have to, because you've already won it."

He pet her hair gently, "You could have just let me shower you in riches."

"I don't want riches," she laughed, "I want you."

"Then you shall have me. Now, here, I was thinking a cozy rug, and a chaise lounge there, so you can do whatever it is you do in your free time. But first!" He held a finger in front of her. "Would you dance with me?"

"Yes, Rumple, yes." She nodded as he helped her up. His hands traveled to her waist, pulling her closer than she had ever been to the man. The heat poured from his body to her own, his forehead rested against her own.

He laughed, pointing to the gramophone, filling the room with sweet music.

Rumple held Keeva to him, breathing in her gentle scent as he spun her across the room. A smile rested on his face. Pink eyes met his own, bright, beautiful. He glanced down in surprise when her head rested against his chest. He pulled her tiny waist closer, feeling her ribs press against his own.

He closed his eyes, imagining for a moment their proximity without the annoyance of clothes. Lips brushed against his jaw, causing a jolt of electricity to shoot down his entire being. "Keeva," he breathed out, taking a half step back and breathing hard.

"I'm sorry," Her cheeks tinted pink, Rumple had to look away from her shy grin.

"It's okay," he furrowed his brows, trying to distract himself from the throbbing in his trousers. Rumple rested his forehead against hers, concentrating on his breathing as he led the waltz. Cold fingers supported his jaw where she had previously kissed him. "Dearie, I am trying very hard not to rip that lovely dress off and ravish you until the sun comes up."

White teeth sunk into her bottom lip, pink eyes glanced from his lips up to his eyes. Suddenly, Rumplestiltskin's mouth went dry, his hands shook as he combed them through the waterfall of silken white. Keeva came to the tips of her toes, his heart sped as her perfect little face tilted. Shallow breaths ghosted over his face as Keeva timidly ran her hand through his hair, teasing the back of his neck.

A crash broke him away. "Someone's here." He hissed, "We can finish this later." He growled as Keeva took a step back.

Anger coursed through his veins as he vanished from the room, reappearing by his wheel. "Now what do you think you're doing?" A cloaked figure jumped, turning sharply. A young man stared in horror. "Do you know who I am?"

"Rumplestiltskin," the thief whispered.

"No one steals from me." He crossed the room, his hand wrapped around his smooth, soft throat.

"Rumple!" He glanced back at the stern voice. "What is going on?"

"He's a thief." He tightened his grip, watching purple veins pop on the man's forehead. "Do you know what happens to anyone who tries to steal from me?" The man's blue eyes widened considerably.

"Please, I'll give it back! I wanted a gift for my daughter's wedding! Please!"

"Oh, I'll send her a gift!" He lifted the man to his feet, slamming him into the wall, "You'll make a fine pair of gloves for any bride!" Spit flew from his mouth to the man's face.

"RUMPLESTILTSKIN!" Keeva's eyes glowed with outrage. "Stop it."

His eyes met hers, "Did you think you knew me, dearie? Thought your ideals of true love would turn the monster into a man?"

Tears fell from her eyes as he dragged the man to his dungeons.


	8. Chapter 8

Keeva knelt in the main room, she shook lightly, her head pounding as gut wrenching screams filled the entire castle. Rumple was singing as the man screamed. Her hands shook violently. She could still feel the warmth of his body, his hands had left imprints on her sides that lingered still.

"I'm going to need my aprons cleaned." He dropped a stack of bloodstained aprons in front of her.

"Why don't you use magic?" Numb, Keeva looked down at her hands.

"Then you wouldn't have anything to do, would ya?" He laughed.

"Why are you doing this? You're good."

"Why on earth do you think you know me? I'm the dark one." Keeva stood, her eyebrows furrowed.

"I do know you!" Anger sparked in her chest, she jabbed her finger into his chest. "Better than anyone else. You bake pies and dance with your maid in a flower room, you think that's dark, do ye?" She mimicked his voice and struck the pose she was so accustomed to seeing.

"That man is going to die. Thanks to you, it's going to take a very long time. So, go scrub his blood out of my aprons, and then you can go cry in your cell!"

"Wouldn't you like that?" She snapped.

"I would, actually!" He snarled, appearing an inch from her.

"Too bad!" She screamed, grabbing his collar and slamming her lips on his. Keeva felt the tremble that coursed through him. Hungry lips captured hers, he caught her as her legs gave away. Tingles coursed through her scalp as his fingers knotted there. One hand escaped, grabbing her leg, wrapping it around his waist and pushing her back into the wall. Teeth cut into her bottom lip, forcing her mouth open for him to deepen the kiss. His body was pressed hot and heavy against hers.

A soft sound left her throat as his hipbones clashed against hers. Breath caught, she dropped her head back, exposing her throat to the man. He took the invitation, kissing up her throat before sinking his teeth sharply into her, drawing another mew from her. Once again, he ground his hips into her, letting her feel the length of his excitement. Her skin was bare against the wall, her dress some feet away as he wrapped her other leg around him.

Keeva's hands knotted in his soft hair, he was walking, a crash filled the room as he cleared his desk with a sweep of his arm. Her back hit the desk, lips ran over her, he held both of her hands above her head with one of his. "Rumple?" Green eyes flicked to her. Realization dawned on his face.

"I can't Keeva," he whispered, "not like this. Not when we've been fighting. I can't make that one of your memories. You'd question my motives forever."

"It's okay," she matched his whisper, "send that man home, Rumple. Make a deal with him. Please. For me." He sighed heavily, placing his hands on either side of her head.

"Only for you." He muttered, snapping his fingers. A white gown covered her. He disappeared into his torture chamber.

"ANYTHING! I SWEAR!" She heard the man shriek. "I SWEAR! I SWEAR!" Then there was sobbing. The man limped into the main room, Rumplestiltskin looking very sour behind him. "Thank you," he wept.

"Oh, don't thank me. If it was up to me you'd be flayed open."

"Then you," the man fell to his knees in front of Keeva, "you are truly the kindest soul in all the realms."

"Yes, yes," Rumple waved him off. "I'm not happy about this."

"I know." She smiled as the man left. "But you did the right thing."

"Cup of tea?" He huffed, sitting down on the desk they had cleared. Keeva nodded, sitting besides him. With a twist of his hand, two delicate cups appeared in either hand. "So tell me, dearie," he smirked, handing her a tea cup, "does getting yelled at turn you on? It seemed to do the trick." He flicked her on the nose, his famous, cheeky grin on his face.

Keeva scoffed, her cheeks hot. Her throat throbbed where he had bitten her. "Let's go to bed, shall we? If you'd unlock my cell, please."

"Keeva, I'm sorry I snapped at you. You're not going to be in there tonight." An arm wrapped gently around her. "You can stay with me until I finish your real room." She sat her empty cup down as arms scooped her up.

His room was dark when he brought her in, the bed dipped as he sat down, still holding her close. Keeva buried her face in his shoulder, breathing in his deep, rich scent. "You're not crying are you."

"No," she whispered, "I'm not."

"I'm going to make it up to you, Keeva."

"Make up for what?"

"For being foul. If someone else spoke to you like that, I'd crush their heart."

"You don't have to make it up to me. And please, don't buy me anything."

"If that is what you desire."

"It is."

"Very well." She could hear the smile in his voice. "And thank you."

Rumple pulled the cover over both of them, still holding her close, "For what?"

"For seeing the good." He stressed as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Flames erupted in the fireplace, casting a warm glow. Keeva turned towards Rumple, he was laying on his side, propped up on his elbow something of a smile directed at her. "No one's ever seen it."

"Well," she smiled back, "it's easy for me to see."

"Might I get another one of those kisses?" Keeva grinned at his uncertain smile before gently placing her lips on his, leaning into the hand that stoked her hair. He was gentle, pulling back to plant a small kiss on her forehead before wrapping his arms around her.

"Are you sleeping in your finery?" She asked as the lace cravat tickled her nose.

An eyebrow raised as a coy smile spread, "Were you hoping to take them off me, dear?" Keeva flushed as bare skin pressed against her. She ran her hands over the arms holding her, watching as the fire played with the gleam of his skin. Green eyes were transfixed on her. Rumple ran his hand down her spine and traced shapes and patterns down her sides, sending her into a trance. "Goodnight, lovely." He whispered as she turned to place her back against his stomach and chest.


	9. Chapter 9

Rumple stood at the window, watching Keeva work in the flower garden. Spring had come, he thought with a small smile, and Keeva was certainly enjoying the time spent outside. He sat down in front of the window, watching curiously as a wobble legged fawn came out from the woods. Of course, he had noticed how animals flocked towards her, but with every passing Spring, it became more and more evident.

After a while, Keeva looked up. He smiled as she waved up at him and beckoned the pale woman to come in. "Do you know what this is?" he asked as she entered his spinning room.

"A ring?"

"Wrong!" He laughed. "It's a special ring." He ran it over his knuckles.

Inclining her head up towards him, Keeva asked, "What makes it special?"

"Two things. One," he held up a finger, "it can be used to get my attention. And two, it's yours." He took her right hand and slid the ring on her middle finger. He held her hand and turned it to examine how it looked on her. The ring was simple, a silver band with a few small leaves that branched out. "If you need me and I'm not around, use that and I will find you."

Keeva grinned as he gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Now," he sat down, "I am expecting some unpleasant company and I would prefer if you would go to town. Get enough things for a meal and come back."

"I will." He watched her leave with a sigh.

Shaking off his worry that she wouldn't return, Rumple began to spin gold. A purple cloud spread through his room. "Thought I smelled something nasty." He laughed as a tall woman marched across the room.

"I need something." The Evil Queen demanded.

He grinned, steepling his fingers together. "Oh? And what would that be, dearie?"

"Wolfsbane."

"I don't have any." He inspected the fine, golden string he had spun. "But I know where to get some."

"What's your price, imp?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Tut tut, I don't have to help you. Let's just say you owe me a favor in the future." He conjured a map and placed a red "X" at the base of the woods. "Now," his stomach turned as he felt Keeva calling him. "I have places to be." Regina disappeared and he did the same.

He reappeared in a small alley. "Rumple!" His name vibrated in his ears. Hatred coursed through his veins as he saw the gaggle of men surrounding a small figure.

"Keep calling, lassie. By the time help arrives I'll be done with you." His teeth grated at the laughter that filled the air.

"My, my, my," he waved his hand, sending bodies flying from his path, "aren't you charming?" He giggled at his own pun.

The man jumped, revealing a small figure, huddled on the ground, her wrist pinned against a wooden fence by the man. Her dress was torn and silent tears traced down her face, mingling with blood, and dripping off the point of her chin. "Close your eyes, Keeva." he muttered, grabbing the man's throat and throwing him to the ground. His friends had vanished. His blood burned as he landed his foot into the man's ribs, over and over until loud cracks and screams filled the night.

When the man stopped moving, Rumple turned him into a slug and began to stomp his foot until the slug was nothing but a finely ground pile of slime. "Darling," he fell to his knees in front of Keeva, "It's okay, it's over now." He tilted her chin up, pressing his lips together. Blood flowed freely from her nose and mouth.

"Take me home, p-p-please," she sobbed, clutching onto him. "Please, R-Rumple, take me home."

"Of course, of course," he nodded, picking her up as he healed her wounds.

"I did-didn't get groceries." She choked out as they reappeared in his room. "I'm so sorry."

"That's quite alright, love." Her dress was ripped worse than he had thought. "Come here, you're alright," he gathered her into his arms, rocking her back and forth as she curled into a small ball. "Shh, shh," tears gathered in the hollow of his collarbone, "let's get you cleaned up, yes?"

Rumple carried her to his bathroom, where a shining golden tub stood on clawed feet in the middle. He filled the tub with hot water and sat Keeva down on a velvet chaise lounge. Silver streaks remained on her pale cheeks. She didn't flinch as he removed the torn dress and unlaced her boots. Long hair shielded her chest as he guided her to the tub.

Grime and dried blood had matted in her hair and collected on her cheeks. He turned to leave, but was stopped by a cold grip. He looked down to his wrist where Keeva's small, pale hand held him. "Don't leave me."

His face softened, "Of course not, dearie."

"Thank you, Rumplestiltskin, for everything."

"You don't have to thank me." He scooped a palm of water and knelt down to wash away the blood from her face. It wasn't until a chill touched his chest that he realized his shirt had been unlaced and now hung open. Carefully, Rumple watched pink eyes, trying to decode what she was doing. Cool hands removed his overcoat and slid down his chest, leaving a trail of goosebumps. "Keeva," he whispered eyes closing as she leaned over the tub to brush her lips over his abdomen.

She tugged at the button of his pants, pulling at the leather. He covered her hands with his own, fighting the heat the spread up his chest. White brows furrowed, but relaxed when he helped her slide the tight leather trousers away from his burning skin. Quietly he stepped into the tub, gathering her long hair and moving it in front of one shoulder. Rumple let out a long breath and leaned against the back of the tub. Gently, he pulled her shoulders back until she was resting against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her thin torso and gingerly kissed her sweet skin. All the while, he was hyperaware of her bare flesh covered only by mere water and her hair.

"Your hands are shaking," she whispered.

"Well, dearie, it would seem you've put me in a rather hard place." His voice was quieter than he remembered. Her ears brightened as he grazed his lips down her neck and shoulder, slowly running his hand up her thigh, relishing her soft, silken skin. "But there's an issue." He muttered into her hair. "Because you are beautiful, and I am a monster."

"Rumple." She turned around, sitting across from him, her hair only just hiding her small chest. He looked away. "You are not a monster."

He stood suddenly, gently taking her arm and pulling up from the tub, and led her to the standing mirror, positioning her in front of him. "Look." He placed his hand on her shoulder. "Do you understand?"

"You're serious? Rumple, my mother had to make a deal with you because my village thought I was cursed. People are afraid of me. We are no different."

"I have never seen a woman more beautiful." He defended.

He leaned slightly into her touch, "Nor I a man."

He crushed his lips onto hers, embracing her tightly, "Ah, Keeva," he breathed in between his desperate kisses. "I love you." He held her head to his chest, his hand lost in the volumes of her hair.

"I love you, Rumplestiltskin." Lips slammed into his own, he eagerly captured hers back. Her hands locked in his hair. "I love you so much."

Rumple pressed her back into the wall, wrapping her legs around his waist, his heart drumming at the proximity of their skin. He stumbled down the stairs in between heavy kisses. A growl pulled from his chest as her teeth sunk into the dip of neck. Pink eyes widened as he sat down on the stool by his wheel, holding her now so she was sitting across his lap. He settled his grip on her waist, giving into the hands that held his jaw and the lips burning across his own.

"My, my, what a show." His eyes snapped open as Regina's voice filled the entrance room.

"I don't remember selling you a ticket." He snapped his fingers, magicking their clothes on.

"Is that...the Evil Queen, Rumple?" He glanced to Keeva, who looked equal parts horrified and embarrassed.

"Yes I am. Perhaps you should really get to know the man before you bed him." Regina laughed.

"What are ya doing here?" He interjected.

"Your map nearly got me killed."

"Well you are alive aren't you? So pray tell, why are you wasting my time?"

"I came here to tell you, if you ever cross me again, I will make you rue the day." A grin spread across ruby lips, she turned slowly to glare at Keeva, "And now, I know how." He shoved Keeva behind him, feeling her fingers curl on the back of his shirt. "Enjoy your night."

He sneered, "Oh, I will."

Keeva sat down as Regina disappeared. "What are you doing?" She asked after a minute.

"I'm tired of unexpected visitors." White eyebrows shot up at his harsh tone. "I don't mean to snap at ye, darling. I don't like her threatening you, is all. I think it's time for bed." He ruffled her hair. "I'll walk ya, love."

Keeva's room still bore all the original flowers, all in full bloom. Rumple pulled the thick, white duvet back and kissed her forehead. "Sleep well, dearie."

He returned to his wheel, spinning madly throughout the night as Regina's threat burned over and over in his mind. The sun was beginning to rise when he looked up for the first time.

Thorns whipped her face, grabbed her wrists, and threatened to trip her. She could hear the horsemen crashing behind, her heart galloped in beat with the horses. Her knees hit the earth, her breath left as she skidded into a deep hole. "No!" Her scream ripped from her chest.

"Oh, yes." Dark eyes smiled down at her. The Evil Queen stood with a shovel. "Goodbye, Keeva." Dirt exploded on her face. Then more, and more until darkness obscured her vision.

"HELP!" Her fingers scraped the earth as more and more earth buried her.

"Keeva!" Light flooded in, blinding her. "Is it the same nightmare?" He asked, sitting down besides her on the bed. She nodded, falling back into the pillows.

"I can't shake it, Rumple. Every night she gets closer and closer to filling the hole." Two years had passed since the Evil Queen's threat, but it had only grown to loom closer in her mind.

"I'll never let her hurt you, darling. How about we go for a walk? A little fresh air could do you wonders."

"Perhaps, yes." She returned his smile. The man took her arm, leading her out of his castle and out into the woods. The trees were flaming in the crisp, Fall sun. She rested her head on his shoulder as they walked. The wind blew hard, promising another brutal winter was on it's way.

They took a break by a small brook, Rumple hummed happily as he sat on a fallen tree, streams of sunlight bringing the glimmer out on his skin. A smile tugged at her lips as two blue jays came and landed on her shoulders. A laugh left her as they sang to one another. "How do you do that?" He asked, frightening the birds.

"Come here," she beckoned for him as a pair of big, sweet eyes looked at her from the tree line. She guided his hand, stretching it out towards the doe. "Shh," she whispered as he opened his mouth. The deer sniffed the air before slowly taking a step forward. "Stop thinking about the darkness." She whispered, smiling as the doe sniffed Rumple's hand. Keeva held the back of his hand, urging him to gently stroke the sweet animal.

"Keeva," he breathed her name, "I truly am starting to believe you are my light."

She rose to her tiptoes, kissing his lips briefly.

"Alas, dearie, I must return to my wheel."

"Might I stay a while longer, Rumple? I won't be very long."

"As long as you return to me, love." Lips grazed her own. He vanished into thin air, leaving the girl alone in the forest. She sighed and laid down in the leaves, breathing in the fresh air and letting the sunlight wash over her skin.

Her relaxation was broken by a loud snap. Her head snapped in the direction of the noise. Air left her lungs, fire filled her veins as her body froze. Panic began to seep through her limbs, her breath hitched, she tried to call for Rumplestiltskin, but her mouth was locked close. Green mist filled the forest as dark eyes appeared in front of her. "Hello, Keeva. Don't waste your energy, dearie. You're going away. Forever. Awh, don't cry, you'll never see you beloved Rumple again."


	10. Chapter 10

Rumple stood in Keeva's room, looking out the window as the moon rose high. "Where is she?" He sat down and crossed his legs. His mind spun and spun as the moon sunk and a bloody sun rose into the sky. "She's not coming back!" He screamed, betrayal burning his skin and boiling his blood. The glass shattered, slicing his knuckles and wrist. Blood flew through the air, staining the white furnishings of her room. A symphony of breaking glass and clinking metal filled the quiet castle.

Keeva huddled in the darkness. Silence deafened her ears. She scraped at the wall, her fingertips had long since split, and the action ripped the tender flesh once more, sending a fresh rush of blood down her hands. "Rumplestiltskin," she rocked back and forth, "Rumplestiltskin." With every syllable her head hit the wall. She stared at the silver ring, praying for it to work.

She lost time, her mind buzzed but she had stopped protecting it in the gloom. The encompassing darkness crept into her soul. The grate opened, a wooden bowl of worms and gruel clattered to the floor. "So that's her?" Her ears pricked. "What's wrong with her?"

She grabbed the bars overhead, pulling her body up until the kneeling man was staring into her eyes. "You feed the madness and it feeds on you. You feed the madness and it feeds on you." She sung, over and over again. Through the bars, she grabbed the man, her blood staining his front.

She dropped back to the darkness, humming as the man above stuttered. She combed her hair with her fingers obsessively. It had grown past her hips. " _All around the Mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasel; the monkey thought it was all in fun; 'til pop goes the weasel."_


	11. Keeva's Character Description

For anyone wanting to continue the story, here is the link to the second half: s/12259715/1/Metanoia-Part-Two

Also here's a phyical character description of Keeva:

Name: Keeva Riley O'Hare

Age: Twenty one in chapter one

Height: 5 foot, two inches

Weight: ninety eight pounds

Hair: white; reaches just below her hip bones, usually tangles

Eyes: pink

Skin: incredibly pale

Clothing: until Rumple "upgrades" her wardrobe the first time she wears a patched and slightly torn dress with an equally patched apron; she also wears a pair of brown lace up boots with a couple worn places and holes.


End file.
